A New Year...A New Blogger!

That's right! With 2011 we are adding a new blogger to the Twitloss ranks and expanding our blogging coverage to Saturdays! I am so excited about this. :D Please welcome Tyhada of Tyhada's Place to Twitloss! That's right, yet another of our fellow book lovers has joined us in the fight against flab. You can follow her on Twitter as @tyhada.

In addition to bringing Tyhada on board, we will be shifting our posting schedule around a bit for 2011. So, keep your eyes peeled for your favorite posters on new days, opportunities to guest blog, and of course whatever new and crazy ideas we come up with! Also, we have a 1 year anniversary coming up! It should be a wonderful new year around here, we all hope to see you around.

As always you can contact us with ideas, suggestions, stories, requests to guest blog, things you'd like to hear us talk about, or any old comment you didn't want to post on the site at twitloss (at) gmail (dot) com.

Merry Christmas Eve!

Merry Christmas Eve to my fellow Twitlossers!

I had this post all planned out where I talked about the food we're preparing for the party tonight and how I had every intention of resisting the delicious food that's guaranteed to add inches to my ass and pounds to my body. But I'm not going to do that. I'm not planning to resist. I'm going to indulge my sweet tooth. But I'm not going to overdo it. I've found lately that I can't eat much anyway (which is definitely a good thing), but I've learned that overeating is my biggest problem when it comes to losing weight.

I get comfortable, which is bad. I'm happy with where I'm at weight-loss-wise, and even though I'm still eating healthy foods, I find that I'm eating more than I should, which leads to overeating when I'm grubbing on foods that are bad for me. And before I know it, I'm right back to where I started: eating too much and hating myself for it.

So I'm not resisting tonight. I'm going to sample the foods PK's family slaved over, and on Sunday I'll sample the foods my mom's sisters slaved over. But I won't overdo it, because I hate that overstuffed "I feel like I want to vomit" feeling. I much prefer the "Wow, that was really nummy!" feeling. :)

Merry Christmas, my Twitloss loves!

Pictures

I posted a "before and after" photo of myself at my old WordPressblog, something I was hesitant to do because I hate having my photo online when it's not locked behind a password or where only my "friends" can see it (like on Facebook), but I had to show my progress. From November of last year to March of this year, I managed to drop 40 pounds and I looked better than I had in a long time.

For a while, I was kicking ass and taking names. I hit the gym every day, I was eating right, and I was feeling great. Then finals for my summer classes kicked in and I took a break. The break was only supposed to last through finals, but it ended up lasting a lot longer. Money got tight, motivation got thin, and I slowed way down. I still ate fairly healthy, but working out was something I now only do in my dreams. And no matter how many situps you do in your sleep, I promise you that your waist does not shrink.

I bought an elliptical machine a couple of months ago. It's still in the box and is now in my oversized "garage" closet because we needed a place for the Christmas tree. Unless we do some major rearranging in the living room, we don't have room for the elliptical. So, I'm going to have PK take the box to his old apartment and I'm going to set it up there. The apartment is in our complex, and I have to go clean out the place anyway, so this gives me extra incentive to get over there.

Anyway. Even though I haven't been working out, I'm still eating far less than I used to. I walk a LOT while I'm at work because we're so busy this time of year. And yes, I did the Nu-Lean program for 2 weeks (something I want to do again after the holidays are over). I gained 2 pounds back after I finished Nu-Lean, but I'm still showing 183 on my bathroom scale at home. I'm ok with that. I'm 59 pounds lighter than I was last year!

I was getting ready for my office Christmas party today and as I was putting on my makeup, I realized that my stomach doesn't wave at me nearly as much as it did last year around this time. It's because of this that I'm even willing to post a picture of me wearing a spaghetti strap shirt - last year, I had all my spaghetti straps hidden in the back of my closet, relegated to being under shirts instead of options for when the Texas heat skyrocketed to over 100 (as it routinely does in the summer). Now, I'm ok with wearing one out. I might not wear it to work or school, but my self-confidence is slowly coming back.

How are you doing in your weight loss journey? Do you have any "before" and "after/current" pics you want to share?

Community

This will be my last post for 2010. I am taking the next two weeks off and relaxing. Hooray! I just wanted to stop and say what an amazing year it has been here on Twitloss.

I love that both here on the site and most especially on Twitter, we have developed such a supportive and involved group of folks! (#Twitloss) I love watching as someone tweets a success and the group rallies around them to celebrate. More importantly when someone tweets feeling low or like they have failed, I love seeing you rally around her and pick her up. I love seeing you dust her off and tell her it's okay. She'll do better next time, or better yet it wasn't a failure just a minor setback.

I have to say without all of you I would have likely given up on this journey yet again instead of continually fighting back. I would not look away from the weeks where I failed to make my workout goals and look forward to the next week ripe with possibilities. I would not look past the cupcakes to see that healthier options can taste good too! So to all of my Twitloss tweeps and peeps I want to send a heartfelt and deep THANK YOU! Thank you for being you! Thank you for being there when I need you, thank you for being there when others need you, and thank you for asking for help when you need it!

I hope you all have a wonderful and relatively healthy holiday!

All my Twove!
Dara

Quick Check In

Holy cow it's been busy! I have been trapped (technically I am still there) in training for two weeks. I wrap up this week, and then I can get back to my normal schedule. Last week was a disaster for my workout and my diet. Stupid donuts. So here I am struggling along. Still. Are you all as tired of reading this as I am of writing it? I really want to sit down and be able to write about my successes. I want to shout from the hill tops that I have lost weight and that I am keeping it off.

I suppose if this was easy, everyone would have done it. Sigh. The numbers on the evil little scale in my bathroom are not encouraging, but DH keeps telling me he can see a difference. I dunno. I am probably overdue for a measurement check in, so that will come next week. In the mean time I want to start plotting...I mean planning for success in 2011. How about you? Any plans for successful weight loss in 2011?

Cease and Desist

Dear Insensitive Co-Worker,

I am writing to ask you, why? Why do you insist on bringing fattening, unhealthy, anti-diet food to work and then leave it in the kitchen? Why do you feel the need to "share" with everyone in the office? I'm sorry that your guests didn't eat all of your corn muffins, dinner rolls, and cookies. It is not my problem that you had a craving for cake and didn't want to eat the whole thing. It is not my fault that your Great Aunt Emily dropped of six dozen of her double chocolate chip cookies. I don't want them! I don't need them! I AM ON A FREAKING DIET!

I must ask you to cease and desist with this behavior immediately. If the urge to "share" overwhelms you- bring fruit! Bring granola! Bring protein bars! But for the hope that one day my thighs will fit into a size 10 again PLEASE DO NOT bring that crap I keep finding in the kitchen.

Sincerely,
Dara

P.S.- I know it's the holidays...I don't care. You bake it. You eat it. I don't want it.

The numbers are in!

First thing's first... how did everyone do on Thanksgiving? I cheated on the NuLean diet and had some non-green veggies & plain baked chicken or fish grub, though I didn't eat anywhere near as much as I normally do. In fact, I put so little on my plate (and couldn't even finish that), that my MIL looked a little offended. When I explained to her that I'm dieting & the protein shake tends to leave me on the full side, she relaxed. A little. MIL may be a nurse by day, but when she's at home, she's a badass cook and she loves to share her delicious creations.

Anyway.

Fridays are my typical day to post, but I wanted to wait until I saw the doctor today and got my official numbers before posting anything. Are you ready?

Before (13 November 2010):

Beginning weight at Dr's office: 199 lbs

Beginning weight on bathroom scale: 193 lbs

Waist measurement at beginning of NuLean: 42"

After (27 November 2010):

Ending weight at Dr's office: 187 lbs

Ending weight on bathroom scale: 181 lbs

Waist measurement at end of NuLean: 37"

Total weight lost: 12 lbs

Total inches lost: 5"

I wasn't able to exercise as much as I wanted to... the elliptical machine is still sitting in a box in the corner, waiting for me to move my books and the stupid bird cage so I can set it up. I know it seems like a sad, hollow excuse, but I really have been super busy with work and school and family life. I'm constantly moving around and on my feet though, so at least there's something.

While I'm very happy with the weight I lost, I don't think I'll be doing another session with NuLean until after the New Year. I'm supposed to be going to my dad's this weekend, and my stepmom is a fantastic cook. I won't be eating as much as I normally do, but I do plan on eating more than the boring diet you have to follow on NuLean.

I'm so excited about being in the 180s... I haven't been in the 180s since after I had Monkey! I'm going to keep eating healthy, walking as much as I can, and making sure not to make the same mistakes I made in the past. I will NOT balloon back up. I don't look good and I definitely don't feel good when I weigh that much... 242 is NOT healthy.

one week down, one week to go...

I've been on Nu-Lean since last Sunday. The meal program can be found here, but basically on the first two and last two days of the week, I'm allowed to eat only watery green vegetables, drink protein shakes, and take some of their cleanse stuff (which is a bunch of vitamins in liquid form). It kind of sucks because I want chocolate so bad right now, but at the same time, being on a diet as strict as this one is good - because I'm not eating everything in sight (which I tend to do when Aunt Flo is visiting).

On days 3-5, I'm allowed to have chicken or fish for dinner. Baked. No butter or salt or sauce of any kind. I can have a squeeze of lemon on it for flavor. Because I'm unable to eat plain baked chicken (it literally makes me vomit), I baked it in chicken broth. I was able to finish it, but I think I'll stick to tilapia with lemon from now on.

Day 1, I weighed myself at home (because the doctor's scale and mine are so different) and came up with 192. I taped my waist and then had PK do another measurement to make sure we got the same number. We did - 42 (oh GOD how did I get to a 42" waist?!).

It wasn't hard on day 1. I wasn't all that hungry, I had energy, and there wasn't a lot of temptation in the office or at home. I made sloppy joes for dinner for the family, which smelled awesome, but I was content with my protein shake.

It started to get more difficult on day 2 because I was craving meat so badly, but I managed to resist. Day 3 was easier because I was allowed chicken, but by day 4 I was craving bread and pasta. I ate a ton of broccoli for dinner and 2 small tilapia fillets (the meal totaled less than the 600 calories I'm allotted) and was full.

But (yesterday) day 5... Oh GOD, day 5 almost killed me. They had sausage at work that smelled so good I almost clawed through the wall to get to it. My boss & co-worker went to Bullrito's for lunch and brought the leftovers up to my friend who was visiting me... and who left it on the desk next to me. I made pizza for dinner since PK wasn't going to be home and I wanted something quick & easy that I wouldn't have to fight Monkey to eat. She ate half of the pizza (it's fairly small), and the rest sat on the counter staring at me. Taunting me. Begging me to eat it.

I managed to resist the pizza, but when I got up to snack on some Brussels sprouts, I did grab a small piece of chocolate bar. I'm sad that I gave in to temptation, but at the same time it was something I needed. I had a crap day, Aunt Flo is a bratface, and I was in a bad mood. So I had a very small piece of chocolate. I'm pretty proud of myself that I didn't eat the entire bar (because it is quite a large piece of chocolate), nor did I go through the pantry & fridge and eat everything in sight like I wanted to. Yay for resisting.

I have an appointment with the doctor tomorrow to see my official progress and to discuss how I'm feeling. Today, I weighed in at 187 on the scale and my waist is measuring at 40 (39 if I stand up straight & suck in). That's 5 lbs and 2-3 inches in a week. Can you imagine what I'd be able to accomplish if I were actually exercising? (I really do plan on setting up the elliptical - I just have to find a place for all my books! And the stupid birdcage).

How has your week gone? Have you given into temptation?

The Plan is There is No Plan...

And, well who wants to plan to fail? Not me! So I went and looked around to see what the experts say on how to survive the holiday on a diet. Here are some of the best practices I have found from around the interwebs:

Trim back on the trimmings (WebMD) Go all out and deck the halls with boughs of holly, glitter, and lights, but when it comes to holiday food, accessorize with care. To shave calories, go easy when adding nuts, cheese, cream sauces, gravy, butter, and whipped cream -- additions that don't add much to the meal, but can add plenty to your waistline. Trim calories wherever you can so you leave the party feeling satisfied, but not stuffed, recommends Carolyn O'Neil, MS, RD, author of The Dish on Eating Healthy and Being Fabulous.

Have a low-calorie snack before leaving for a holiday party. (Suite 101) Arrive fashionably late at cocktail parties so you miss some of the temptation to eat more. Position yourself away from the food. Find someone interesting to talk to.

Be active! (Associated Content by Yahoo) The mistake that most people make during the holidays; don't stay in all day sitting down or laying down. Consider going for a walk at the mall, or perhaps doing some visiting around with your neighbors. Don't stay sitting down for more than an hour at any time, unless you're sleeping.

And well, we all know that we have to survive the workplace minefield of holiday parties, potlucks, and well intentioned goodies brought in by co-workers. Remember at work you are battling stress and fat! Here are a few workplace ideas:

Have eggs for breakfast or lunch! (Sheknows.com) Because they contain all the essential amino acids in the perfect portions for humans, eggs are the highest quality protein available. In fact, they're the most effective at increasing nitrogen stores in muscles, making them firmer so they burn more calories even when your body is at rest. Eggs also an ideal food when you're trying to keep blood sugar and cortisol under control: Their satiating protein and healthy fats prevent fat-trapping blood sugar spikes and they're loaded with vitamin D, a nutrient proven to reduce cortisol production.

Plan a counter attack. (Thedietchannel.com) Prepare your own large platters of fruits and veggies. Place them next to the goodies and every time you walk past, grab a veggie instead of the candy. Even if you only take the healthier snack half the time, you’re making an improvement.




Now, I want to know. Are you planning to use any of these strategies? Got some of your own? Or are you throwing caution and your scale to the wind and enjoying the holiday season? I want to know!

Update: I had to drop by and add my awesome news! I hopped on the scale, and despite Aunt Flo's visit this week I am down 5lbs! Woo! Hoo! *happy dance*

Trying another route

I usually post on Fridays, but I had a big Veterans Day event at work and didn't have time to get to a computer. Yesterday was a whole big ball of crazy (appointment at 9, jewelry party at 10:00, and 2 year old nephew's birthday party at 2:00) beginning with my doctor's appointment at 9:00.

I went to the clinic to see how I'm doing on the Phentermine and to get my prescription refilled. I ran out a few days ago, I've been super-stressed because of work & school, and Aunt Flo's getting ready to visit, so the eating (especially of chocolate) has been a little out of control. I know I could have demonstrated some self control, and I kind of did... I mean, there's actually some chocolate left in the house...

I can't make excuses for myself. I have a problem when it comes to food and stress. Both Dara & I have talked about emotional eating/dealing with depression and stress before. It's not easy to get off that roller coaster. But I have to.

Yesterday while at my doctor's appointment, I discovered that I'd lost some weight, despite not working out over the past month. While it is a cause for celebration because I'm back under the 200 lb mark it still sucks because it's only 6pounds in the span of a month. I know I can do better!

I talked to one of the doctors last time about a product called Nu-Lean (that he's used before and had excellent results). It's a very strict diet (and I mean very strict) but it's to cleanse your body of toxins. And let's face it, I need to cleanse my body of all the shit I put into it. I opted not to do the Nu-Lean last time because I wanted to see how I'd do on the Phentermine and because Nu-Lean is kind of expensive. This time, I opted to do it. I can afford it right now, and I need to get over this stupid plateau. I haven't been able to get under 190lbs even when I was exercising and eating right all the time.

I start the Nu-Lean program today (the menu can be found here). It's going to last for 2 weeks, which means I'll be doing the cleanse during Thanksgiving so I won't be able to indulge in all the food. Which, let's face it, is probably a good thing. Also, I'm not a huge fan of turkey so it gets me out of forcing it down my throat to pacify the family.

Today on my list of things to do: put books I won't read again any time soon into boxes and in storage. Move the giant ugly ass bookshelf to the Dumpster downstairs (it's warped anyway). Set up the damned elliptical in its place. USE IT. Also, clean the rest of the house because holy hell, I let things pile up while I was pulling my hair out over all the tests I had last week.

A Turkey Day Dilemma...

My DH loves...LOVES to deep fry a turkey for Thanksgiving. You would think he was from the south. This year my mom is coming from Mississippi to see us, so all the more reason for him to go nuts and pull out the deep fryer. Now, I love it too-- but I know it is not healthy. How could it be?

So, as always here is the dilemma: to deep fry or not to deep fry? That is the question!

Here are two recipes I found online with nutritional information to help you compare:

Southern Deep Fried Turkey (click name to see original recipe on eatturkey.com)

Yield: 12 Ethnicity: New Southern American Meal Type: Main Course, Entrée Occasion: Thanksgiving, Superbowl, Fourth of July, Christmas Preparation Method: Deep Fry Product Type: Whole

Ingredients

10 to 12 Pound WHOLE TURKEY, non self-basting

2/3 Cup prepared vinaigrette dressing

1/3 Cup dry sherry

2 Teaspoons lemon pepper seasoning

1 Teaspoon garlic powder

1 Teaspoon onion powder

1 Teaspoon cayenne pepper

As needed peanut oil (See note below)

Remove the giblets and neck, rinse the turkey well with cold water and pat dry thoroughly with paper towels. Take care to dry both inside cavities. To allow for good oil circulation throughout the cavity, do not truss or tie legs together. Cut off the wing tips and plump little tail (as they may get caught in the fryer basket). In a medium bowl, mix vinaigrette, dry sherry and seasonings together. Strain the marinade. Place the marinade in an injection syringe. Inject the marinade in the turkey breast, thighs and legs. Place the bird in a large food-safe plastic bag, refrigerate and marinate for at least 2 hours. Turn the bag and massage the turkey from time to time. Drain the marinade from the turkey and discard marinade. Place the turkey in the fryer basket or on a rack, neck down. Place the OUTDOOR gas burner on a level dirt or grassy area. Never fry a turkey indoors, in a garage or in any structure attached to a building. Do not fry on wood decks, which could catch fire, or concrete, which could be stained by the oil. (Safety tip: have a fire extinguisher nearby for added safety.) Add oil to a 7 to 10 gallon pot with a basket or rack. At the medium-high setting, heat the oil to 375 degrees F, (depending on the amount of oil, outside temperature and wind conditions, this should take about 40+ minutes). When the oil temperature registers 375 degrees F on a deep-fry thermometer, slowly lower the turkey into the hot oil. The level of the oil will rise due to the frothing caused by the moisture from the turkey but will stabilize in about one minute. (Safety tips: to prevent burns from the splattering oil wear oven mitts/gloves, long sleeves, heavy shoes and even glasses. It is wise to have two people lowering and raising the turkey.) Immediately check the oil temperature and increase the flame so the oil temperature is maintained at 350 degrees F. If the temperature drops to 340 degrees F or below, oil will begin to seep into the turkey. Fry about 3-4 minutes per pound, or about 35-42 minutes for a 10-12 pound turkey. Stay with the cooker at all times as the heat must be regulated to maintain 350 degrees F. When cooked to 165-170 degrees F in the breast or 170-175 degrees F in the thigh, carefully remove the turkey from the hot oil. Allow the turkey to drain for a few minutes. (Safety tip: allow the oil to cool completely before storing or disposing.) Remove turkey from the rack and place on a serving platter. Allow to rest for 20 minutes before carving. NOTE: Use only oils with high smoke points, such as peanut, canola or safflower oil. To determine the correct amount of oil, place the turkey in the pot before adding seasoning and add water until turkey is covered. Take turkey out of the water before marking the oil level. Measure the amount of water and use a corresponding amount of oil. Dry the pot thoroughly of all water.

Recipe Source: Recipe by The National Turkey Federation as found on Eatturkey.com


Roast Turkey with Herbal Rub (click name to see original recipe on eatturkey.com)

Yield: 18 Ethnicity: American Meal Type: Main Course, Entrée Occasion: Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter Preparation Method: Roast Product Type: Whole

Ingredients

1 13-Pound WHOLE TURKEY, fresh or thawed

1 Medium onion, quartered

1 lemon, quartered

1/4 Cup vegetable oil

1 Teaspoon dried thyme

1 Teaspoon dried tarragon

1 Tablespoon dried rosemary

1 Teaspoon salt

1/2 Teaspoon freshly ground black pepper

Remove giblets and neck from turkey and reserve for broth. Rinse turkey with cold running water and pat dry with paper towels. Place onion and lemon quarters in neck and body cavities. In a small bowl, mix oil with herbs, salt and pepper. With your finger tips, gently loosen skin from the breast without pulling off the skin. Place 1 tablespoon of herb mixture under skin; replace skin. Rub cavities and outside of turkey with remaining herb mixture. Secure the neck skin to the back with skewers. Fold wings under back of turkey. Place legs in tucked position. May be prepared to this point, covered and refrigerated for several hours. Place turkey, breast side up, on a rack in a large shallow (no more than 2-1/2 inches) deep roasting pan. Insert an oven-safe thermometer into the thickest part of the thigh, being careful it does not touch the bone. Cover bird with a loose tent of foil. Roast turkey in a preheated 325 degree F. oven for about 2-1/2 hours. Remove foil and baste bird with pan juices. Continue to roast for about another hour until meat thermometer registers 180 degrees F. in the thigh. Remove turkey from oven and allow to rest for 15-20 minutes before carving. Transfer to a large platter and serve with gravy. Note: Yields 18 servings at 6 ounces per portion.

Recipe Source: Recipe provided by Giant Food of Landover, MD as found on Eatturkey.com

Now...here's the question. How are you cooking your Turkey? Are going healthy? or are you deep frying it and giving yourself a day to enjoy it?

Jump Around

It's been awhile, right? I can't remember when my last post was. NO, don't go looking it up! You'll just make both of us depressed! There is a good news/bad news kind of situation going on. The BAD news is that I've gained back.....probably....ten lbs. The GOOD news is that I've only gained back 10 lbs! Given that I've basically done NOTHING for the past 3 months or so, that's not bad at all.

Except I'm kinda tired. Working out really DOES give you energy. I thought that was a myth, you see, because it kind of sneaks up on you. I mean, everyone I know hates to work out. I don't care what they tell you, it is not fun. It ain't. I just ain't. But there is that huge rush after it's over. I'm not sure it's all endorphins either. I think part of it is just relief that the ish is over for the day! And.......probably some endorphins as well. We like science here. No science deniers.

But the long term energy boost sneaks up on you. You don't even realize you have more energy, you just.....have it. I miss that feeling.

I haven't given up ALL of my semi healthy habits, though. I still use my food scale. Not as often as I should, but often. I measure chips, ice cream, candy, you name it. I still don't buy snacks to have around the house. Check that, I don't buy many snacks.....and I stay away from the snacks that I can't turn down. I have chips here, but I have no problem saying no to chips. They aren't a huge temptation for me. Cookies, on the other hand, are a problem. Cupcakes? Forgetaboutit.

My two huge problems/stumbling blocks/clusterfucks.... have been Fast Food (aka, Satan) and not working out. (aka The Devil.) Of course, not counting calories is bad, but who wants to count calories when you KNOW the number is going to be crazy because you had Starbucks for breakfast and McDonalds for dinner? So, we're staring over again. Better food choices, yes, but I'm not silly enough to think I can go from fast food to zero in one day. But what I can do is jump around. So, in honor of my new commitment....

20 lbs gone... who has my cupcake?

Ok, kidding about the cupcake. mostly.

Yep, its only taken what ... 6 months maybe? LOL It's the number that counts tho... I wish I could say I have learned a lot or reformed eating habits or... well any number of things. But alas, I really think it has been luck and that I manage to get to the gym usually at least twice a week and forget to eat on a regular basis. sigh.

So... I have to do better. The first step is dealing with the emotional eating, the stress eating, or I should say... lack there of. I get stressed, I don't eat. I get emotional I eat chocolate. Eating a chocolate bar once a day and that is it is not really a good plan. So.. I need to give a good read of Dara's post and find my way.

For now tho, I will take the 20 lbs and smile about it.

Emotional Eating

I don't think of my self as touchy feely, but I do want to stop and talk about how our emotions play into our diets and weight loss. For some of you this will not apply. Whoever you are, I'm really jealous so I wouldn't come within arms length of me and acknowledge that emotional eating isn't a problem for you. :D

If you follow me on Twitter, read my blog, or happen to know me personally then you know that 2010 has been a pretty stressful year. I have dealt with personal tragedy, financial challenges, and extra work stress all while trying to kick start this writing "hobby" of mine. Heh. The point of that list is that it has added a big huge steaming pile of stress to my life. I mean to the point that four months ago or so I was seeing a physical therapist for a knot in my back so bad I couldn't sleep and couldn't work. I was a train wreck, physically.

This is never good because these kinds of things always lead to me making bad eating choices. I love food. Food does not judge me. It does not criticize me. I am always enough for food. I am smart enough, pretty enough, and I am great company for food...even when I am not. Food makes no demands on me. It's just there. For a few moments while I am eating it I feel good....euphoric even. It's like a drug, and like that the high always ends. Leaving behind the same emotional wreckage that was there to begin with plus the new pile of guilt on top for having eaten the the two cupcakes or the bag of chips or whatever it was.

Let me tell you breaking up is hard to do.

I never understood girls who repeatedly went back to guys who just weren't good for them in some way. But I am starting to have an appreciation for being drawn to a behavior that isn't healthy even when you know it isn't. Breaking up with food is hard, mostly because as one person (and I can't remember for the life of me where I read it!) we don't get to make a clean break. We still have to have a relationship with food...just different. Come on, we've all tried the let's just be friends line, haven't we?

So, here I am grappling with the emotions connected to eating. I get stressed out and I want to eat. I get upset and I want to eat. It makes me feel good...if only for that moment. Until I don't. And then the cycle starts again and holy shit I weight in at 200 pounds.

It is a frustrating cycle to be caught in, especially when you know intellectually what the healthy choices are; but in the end the emotional eating seems to overrule your intelligent brain. Your hand reaches out and comes back clutching that item that you know you are going to regret later.

How do you break the cycle? I suppose if I had a really good answer for that I would be losing weight. I try to keep healthier options around me so that when the urge to eat strikes I am at least grabbing healthy food instead of junk food. I am trying to exercise more consistently and for longer. I did Billy Blanks for 43 minutes Tuesday morning and Monday was 23 minutes. Tomorrow is another 43 minute workout. I plan on integrating a Saturday workout into my weekend schedule since I tend to lax off, and I am putting down the beer. I mean it this time. I slipped and let beer back in the picture somewhere, and it just is no good for me.

So those are my small tweaks I am implementing for now to jump start things again, because honestly, I am not happy. I don't want to be this size anymore. The question is, will I actually do anything about it?

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Im not dead... just a slacker.

I know... you are like.. who is this KindleVixen chick? I don't remember her.

sigh.

I have been a very very bad blogger. Very bad.
School this semester has been incredibly time consuming, only 4 classes but 3 of which are writing intensive. Thankfully I am down to just 3 classes and can stop using that as a crutch for my twitloss slackitude.

In spite of my slackness I have managed to lost a pound or so, I consider that a success all things considered.

Now - I stop being a puss and get back to the gym. Zumba Wednesdays, Body Pump Tuesday and Fridays, cardio the rest. I am also doing a combination of calorie watching using the Daily Burn app and the Eat Clean diet. It is a pretty simple theory, eat whole foods and make them count. 

Let's hope that I'm back next week with a good update! If not, someone kick me in the ass!

Marie Claire and Roller Coasters

Well, I wasn't going to say anything about the Marie Claire webisode but I was struck that I find it sad we are all so judgmental of each other. Who is anyone to say someone is too fat for TV or too skinny, even? I find the her apology to be a further insult as she uses anorexia as her excuse for her harsh words.

Full stop. Nope, just take responsibility and say you did it. There are plenty of women out there recovering from eating disorders that do not share your attitude. Case in point go read Katiebabs response to the post. She is eloquent and moving and most importantly honest. I am also sad that Ms Kelly is still qualifying her apology. Because I am here to tell you that even without "medical and psychological reasons" it is still damn hard to loose weight. There is no magic fat pill. No silver bullet.

Working toward weight loss is like riding a roller coaster. You get on the ride and everyone is nervous, excited maybe, and some are afraid. As the car climbs the first hill it is with great trepidation and angst the you move forward.

This first part of the ride is like the process of deciding it is time to loose some weight and your preparation. You decide, you do some research on how to eat or what diet plan to use. Then you look at what exercise plan to follow, how often, when you will fit it in to your already pack schedule. There is much angst, nervousness, and maybe even some excitement in all this.

Now we are cresting the first hill. Whew! That feels good! Maybe we are a week in, a month, who knows...but we start to slip down the other side. Eventually we barrel down into the valley. Our first hiccup. Maybe it's a party, lunch with the girls, a bad day at work...whatever it is it leads to a break with the plan. We overeat, skip a workout, or just have a candy bar. But it's okay, we recover. We get back into the swing of things and start climbing the next hill. This is important!

Again. Something happens we hit another valley, more ups and downs. Maybe a plateau. (Ack!) A loop, a twist. This is the weight loss journey. It is not an easy path straight down. Everyone's path is different, just like roller coasters are all different. One person's journey might be like riding the Great American Scream Machine, a wooden coaster with no loops. Or, their journey might be more like mine...The Incredible Hulk. At least, that's how it feels.

So I want to know, how did you feel about the article if you read it, and what roller coaster is your journey to weight loss?

Twitloss is on Twitter!

Image via WikipediaOkay so I know that sounds strange...but we never had an actual Twitter account. LOL! But we do now so be sure to follow the blog's account (@twitlossblog) for news and post updates as well as each of us for personal updates. As always we will be living at #twitloss on Twitter! See you there!

walking on sunshine

Good morning and happy Friday, fellow Twitlossers!

I didn't really have anything to talk about today, because the evil that is Girl Time hasn't gone away yet. This is the 2nd week, and while the cramps and general "OhmyGodkillmenow" feeling has gone away, Aunt Flo has refused to leave the building... The bitch. And yes, I know you can work out during Girl Time, but I don't. After getting my IUD (and later having it removed), I can't do tampons anymore, and working out while wearing a pad makes me feel disgusting.

I know, excuses.

This isn't actually what I was going to talk about today. I wanted to talk about depression and how it affects your weight. For me, I'm an emotional eater. If I'm sad, I eat. If I'm angry, I eat (after I throw things & curse a lot). If I'm happy, I eat. It's a horrible, vicious cycle that has added entirely too many pounds & inches to my ass.

I'm bipolar, so I have manic highs and manic lows. Not a pretty sight to be around when I'm in a downphase. I cry a lot, I eat a lot, and I don't get out of bed much. So, how I do deal with the depression? How do I pull myself out of the funk?

Over the years, I've developed a few different methods.

• Music - I love music, so I have a playlist that's designed specifically to get me back into my "happy" place. I also use it as my "WAKE UP!" mix in the mornings when I crawl into the shower. I have songs like "(I feel good) I got you" by James Brown, "Respect" by Aretha Franklin, "Walking on Sunshine" by Katrina and the Waves... Up beat, happy music.
• Journaling - Keeping a journal helps too. I write out every thought & feeling I'm having at the time and when I'm done, I put it away. I don't read the entries again. You know that "out of sight, out of mind" trick? That's kind of what I'm trying to accomplish with the journaling. I get it out & set it aside.
• Going outdoors - Even though I'm not really much of an outdoors type of girl, I found that getting outside and soaking up some sunshine does me a lot of good. Last semester, when I wasn't working, I found myself getting more and more down, the more I stayed home. When I took Monkey to daycare/pre-school, I noticed a dramatic change in my energy level and overall level of happiness... getting outside and being in the sun actually boosted my spirits.
• Playing with my kid/spending time with my family - If you're on my Twitter, you know that I adore my kid (how can I not? She's precious & sweet & funny). So, hanging out with her when I'm down also serves to lift me up. She makes me laugh & if I feel like crying, she crawls into my lap and gives me hugs & kisses until I'm better. If that's not enough, I crawl into PK's lap and he holds me until I'm happy again. And if all else fails, I go see my mom. I can't crawl in her lap anymore, but I can lay down next to her, and she'll play with my hair and tell me funny stories about my aunts & uncles until I'm laughing so hard I think I might actually pee on myself (my mom's hilarious).
• Baking - I know, it's not very Twitloss friendly, but I love to bake. Love it. The act of putting a recipe together, measuring out the ingredients exactly (I only measure when I bake - when I cook, all bets are off), mixing it, & seeing how it comes out of the oven... it's soothing to me. You can usually tell when I've had a rotten day, because I tend to bake a lot when I'm upset. My neighbors actually kind of love it when I have a bad day because they get a ton of sweets (I can't keep them in the house -- emotional eater, remember?)
• Reading - Of course I love to read when I'm down. I usually pick something that's not too angsty (ex: HQ romances - the sekrit baby kind, lol) so it doesn't drag me down even further.
• Cleaning - I know I'm weird, but I actually like to clean. I put on my "Clean the house" playlist that's got a bunch of Britney Spears, Lady Gaga, Beyonce, etc. type music and get moving. You can really tell when I'm in a funk because the house smells like bleach and looks all sparkly & shiny.

They're not all guaranteed to work. Sometimes I just need to ride out the funk until it goes away. I once spent an entire month in bed, only getting up when I absolutely had to. Luckily, that hasn't happened in almost a year, and I'm getting better at pulling myself out of the funk.

This week's question: Do you battle with depression? How do you pull yourself out of a funk?

Shimmy Shimmy Shake!

I have been trying to spice up my workouts...give Billy Blanks a little twist. I have been adding in a belly dancing workout from FitTV called Shimmy. OMG! This is so much fun.

"For thousands of years women from the cradle of civilization have maintained their beauty and explored their sensuality with the ancient practice of belly dance."

I mean it just sounds exotic. :) I have enjoyed the change up to my normal routine, and DH got a big surprise when we went to a hookah lounge and I jumped up with the belly dancer and shook it. That was awesome! Check it out...

So, curious about this? Well, here are the top ten Shimmy moves:

Cut Turn:
The Cut Turn is the signature move of belly dance. It's a traveling step that allows the dancer to move confidently through the audience. The hip powers the body in a teasing flit around a central pivot in time to the music. Arms add accents and grace to this powerful movement. Episodes 101, 108, 114

Snake Arms:
This slithering arm movement represents the power, mysticism, and symbolism of belly dancing. It is a reverse sequential movement similar to "the wave" in break-dancing that strengthens and tones the arms and shoulder muscles. Episodes 103, 109, 125

Shoulder Shimmy
A classic move in belly dance, this simple, flirty, shoulder gesture is also common in many other forms of dance. Shoulders move back and forth in opposition, shaking all the special upper body parts. Episodes 101, 108, 114

Cabaret Shimmy:
The shimmy is a standard expression of all belly dance forms. In this Egyptian cabaret variation, the knees move back and forth quickly in opposition giving a side to side shake of the hip—this move is particularly stunning when performed in full costume. Episodes 105, 115, 124

Hip-Piston:
This is a sharp, ballistic style of movement that gives a burst of energy to the typically smooth, sensual nature of belly dance. The precise isolation of the hip joint will be sure grab the attention of the audience. Episodes 103, 109, 120, 125

3/4 Shimmy:
Definitely one of the more difficult moves, but a must learn for all belly dancers. Hips take turns moving up and down - motioning to the side in a traveling step or in place to catch the rhythm and emotion of the music. Episodes 103, 119

Chest Camel:
This is a chest circle that scoops the chest forward then back. It engages and strengthens the chest and upper back muscles. Episodes 104, 115, 118, 122 (with a variation—120, 123)

Hip Circle:
One of the most sultry moves in belly dance; this hip isolation exudes sensuality while toning abs, hips and glutes. Episodes 102, 107, 111, 117 (with a variation—108)

Head-Slides:
A standard in many Eastern dances, the head slides from one side to the other; the critical part is keeping the chin parallel to the ground. This will add exoticism to any dance routine. Episodes 102, 107, 111, 117 (with a variation—116)

Maya:
In this movement, hips come up, out, and down creating an outward circle with the hips. A very challenging move that will leave your audience wondering "how does she move like that?" Episodes 110, 124

What do you do to change up your routine? To keep things interesting? Anyone gonna try Shimmy now?

1 step forward, 2 steps back

This week started on a fairly good note. I started my meds, and my eating feels like it's finally under control. I know it's not a magic fix, and I will have to figure out a way to resist the temptation to eat everything in the house, but it's a start. I'm eating more sensibly, and eating the right way (small meals & snacks throughout the day). I don't eat nearly as much as I did before... when I was able to eat more than PK in a sitting... And I'm feeling great!

When I got home Monday afternoon, I found the most beautiful gigantic box I'dever seen in the entire world. My Body Champ Cardio Dual Trainer had arrived! I found it on Amazon.com while searching for an elliptical that wasn'ttoo expensive and wouldn't take up my entire living room. And when I ran across this one? It was PERFECT! See, I can only do the elliptical - the low impact is perfect for my hips and knees. PK only likes the bike - which I can't do. So... combine them in one machine & you don't need an entire room take up by exercise equipment! WIN!

Unfortunately, I have no idea how to put the bastard together, so I waited for PK to get home. And waited. And waited. He ended up having to work until 7:00, and even then he only came home because the computer kicked him off so that it could do it's nightly system backup. So, it was too late for him to start putting it together. I was sadface, but I can understand his need for food and sleep after such an incredibly long day.

Tuesday, I woke up feeling gross. Not like "Oh God, I'm going to be sick" gross, but "Oh God, I think my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body" gross. Thing is, I'm on birth control pills and that girl crap wasn't due for another week! Unfortunately, I'm just now getting on these stupid pills, and my hormones are trying to adjust. (I apologize if any of this is TMI - I tried to keep it as vague as possible)

As much as I want my elliptical to be put together, I can't really do much in the way of exercising. Or moving. Nope, I have to have a heating pad on my belly, a big ol' bottle of Aleve, and the biggest bottle of water you have seen in your life (I'd say vodka, but alcohol & Phentermine don't mix well) all while cuddled either on the bed or on the couch. On the plus side, I haven't gone diving for the chocolate in the pantry. Or the ice cream in the fridge. Instead, I grab an apple or some yogurt.

I know I sound like a big baby, but it hurts. And me and pain? We're not friends.

So, while my diet is WAY better this week (and I almost feel like I'm not bloated at all), my exercise sucks. All I can say is that I pray this crap is over soon and my hormones level out with a quickness. I don't want any more surprise visits from that bitch Aunt Flo.

Today's bathroom scale reading: 193!

I go back to the doctor in a few weeks, and I'm going to make them let me go in the back to check my weight to see what their scale says. I want to see how much it differs from mine.

Question of the week: How do you deal with That Time Of The Month? Do you run for the chocolate, or do you exercise it out?

Guest Blogger - @shilohwalker and Finding Your Limit

FYI…total disclaimer here…this post isn’t meant to be ANY sort of medical advice, suggestions, etc…nobody should start a workout program without first checking with their doctor, yadda yadda yadda…

A little less than a year ago, I had to go shopping for clothes and I was disgusted with myself to realize I’d crept up in size again. From a 22 to a 24. I’d been a size 20 for years and I was okay with that…not dancing on the moon happy, but okay. Less okay with a 22. Then I hit the size 24. And um…well, lets just say I wasn’t okay. At all.

In November of 2009, I decided I’d had enough. I didn’t like who I saw in the mirror and it had nothing to do with what society says I should like. I wasn’t happy with what I saw. I didn’t feel healthy, even though I didn’t generally eat that much, and even though I was fairly active—I hit the YMCA often, I worked out, I wasn’t a couch potato.

But I was a size 24…and I was fed up.

So I did something about it. It wasn’t a diet, because guys…one thing I finally figured out…diets do not work.

It’s all about changing how you eat, how you live, those ‘lifestyle changes’ that you hear? Well, that’s how you lose weight, and the first step is finding your limit. Whatever sets you off, because it has to be for you. Doing it because somebody wants you to, because somebody else thinks it’s a good idea or even because you think maybe it’s a good idea…that’s not going to do it. You have to find your limit—that point where you are just fed up and you’re not going to keep going on the way you have been.

For me…it was a size 24.

I changed how I eat. While there’s no ‘set’ diet plan that I follow, the ‘white food’ diet where you cut out the ‘bad’ carbs like potatoes, white bread, etc is close to what I do. I eat lean meats, lots of veggies, yogurt, that sort of thing.

I’d been ‘trying’ to run off and on for a while, but once I hit my limit, it wasn’t ‘trying’ to run. I made myself to do it. And um… please, don’t say… Oh, hell, I can’t run. I’m asthmatic, I’ve got a knee I messed up in a car wreck when I was twenty and back issues I deal with off and on. If a doctor had told me I couldn’t run? Then yeah, I wouldn’t have tried. But that’s medical advice. Me thinking I can’t run? Different story. Because two years ago? I thought, Oh, hell, I can’t run…I’ve got asthma, my knee is screwed up…etc, etc, etc.

The word can’t is one colossal word—because if somebody believes they can’t…well, there ya go. Deciding you can is what shrinks that word down to size.

I decided I could run. And I did.

First I started at about an 1/8 of a mile, then I’d walk an 1/8, then I’d run an 1/8, then I’d walk…until I’d gone an entire mile. Four or five days a week.

Then I was able to slowly work it up to running ¼ of a mile, then walking ¼ , then running, then walking…then ½, and so on, and so on. I’m now up to where I can run three miles several times a week. Once, I even managed four. And sometime in the next year or so, I’m going to running in one of those 5k/3mile mini marathons. Just to prove to myself I can.

Two years ago, I was one of those people who would have said, Oh, I can’t run.

I’ve had a few people tell me that with my knee bothering me or my back bothering me, I should try a different exercise, but actually, running has helped. I still hate it. But since I changed how I eat, since I started running, my asthma has improved, the weight loss has taken strain of my knee so my knee is actually better—walking upstairs no longer hurts my knee the way it used to, and running doesn’t hurt my knee the way it used to. My back doesn’t hurt the way it used to.

And I still hate running.

I love French fries. I miss McDonald’s sweet tea.

Making these changes hasn’t been fun. It’s hard work.

But…I’m down more than 55 pounds and I’ve gone from a size 24 in womens to a size 14/16 in missy’s. I’m out of the plus department. Bra size? From a 42C to 38D. (Yeah, I don’t get that either).

I look better than I have in years, and I feel better than I have in years. So while I’m running (and hating every step), I’m loving the way I feel now, and I love going shopping for new clothes.

Is it easy? No. But it’s easier now than it was before I hit that size 24. Because that size 24 was my limit. I was done with it. That’s how you decide to make changes, I guess. You find your limit…and start making changes.

Shiloh Walker, twitloss lurker, griper, reluctant runner

http://shilohwalker.com/website

Confessions part 2

After my trip to New York, I expected to have gained a pound or two. I didn't exactly eat as good as I have been, but I thought that I'd balanced it out nicely with all the walking. Seriously, we walked a good 14-15 miles over a span of (basically) 3 days. I was wrong.

I went to the doctor last weekend to get back on Phentermine. And found that I'd gained 10 pounds back.... TEN. I cried on the spot. I knew that I'd gained some back because my jeans weren't fitting as great as they used to, but I kind of figured that it was part of me PMS'ing or water weight or whatever. I figured it'd go away. But it hasn't. My jeans are still tight, and the scale is still showing 203.

I went back to the doctor on Tuesday and sat down with the doctor. He did bloodwork and an EKG to make sure I was able to be on the meds, and they all came out normal. We talked about my diet and exercise. He wants me to cut down the calories I take in from 1650 a day to 1300 a day. He also wants me to either walk or do the elliptical every day. Weight training is ok, but I can't push myself to the point where I'm exhausted and hurting all the time. He mostly wants me to focus on my cardio and the way that I eat... which, honestly, has become a problem again.

I can't help it. I'm addicted to food. I love it. The tastes, the smells, the colors, the textures... I love food. Period. So, while I really enjoy the healthy foods, I really enjoy the fatty, greasy, salty, unhealthy foods.

I started the meds on Wednesday and go back to the doctor in a month. I will be buying the elliptical machine sometime in the next few weeks, but until then I'll be going to the school's gym on Tuesday and Thursday afternoons (when I get off early) to use theirs.

I refuse to gain back the weight that I literally worked off of my ass.

Vegas on a Diet - NOT

Okay so I was in Vegas this past week. Exercise consisted of....walking. I did a lot of it. Way more than I expected even. Now, one of my favorite things to do is eat. I know, I know. That doesn't really work well with a diet. No it doesn't. Which is probably why I have not had a lot of success. But that issue aside, let's talk about the food in Vegas!

Part of our room package included meals at the Luxor's buffet. It was okay. The first night we were not impressed. It got better the next couple of days, but we had decided we would not eat dinner's there on Friday and Saturday because we love trying cuisines and restaurants we don't normally get at home.

So, Friday night we ate at Red, White & Blue at The Mandalay Bay because my DH was craving-- I mean like get-out-of-the-hungry-angry-pregnant-woman's-way craving --little-neck clams. You can't get those on the west coast on the half-shell. He ate a dozen and was blissfully happy once again. I had crab cakes and a salad...smothered in blue cheese. It is my kryptonite.

Saturday night I had the most amazing meal. We went back to Mandalay for dinner to Red Square, a Russian restaurant. Yummy! We had their tasting menu (essentially a fixed menu with some extras) that was very good.

I had the Fillet Mignon...oh my god it was so good. I can't tell you the last time I had a steak that good. We loved the atmosphere and really enjoyed ourselves. I tried things like smoked salmon (hate it still, sorry Dad!) and tasted caviar for the first time, which was totally overpowered by the smoked salmon. I had steak tartar for the first time, and no shock there but I loved it. Why? Well I eat my steak very rare. LOL! But that's another story for another time.

All in all, I did not over eat much, I was very aware of stopping when I felt full. Not overfull. I have not yet braved the scale to see the truth of my vacation, but I know I did okay. Bottom line, I had fun and really enjoyed myself. As of Monday, it was back to the #Twitloss grindstone, so ladies get your sneakers out, your water bottles filled, and your iPods loaded because I am on a mission! More on that next week....

Wanna hear about our room and what not? Check out my post on my blog.

What I want to know is, while I was in Vegas, what were you up to?

New York, New York!

Hello fellow Twitlossers! I apologize for the lack of update last week. I meant to write one before I left for vacation, but with all the preparations, it slipped my mind. I'm such a bad girl!

So, PK whisked me off to beautiful Manhattan last weekend. We stayed from Friday until Monday, and let me tell you it was a whirlwind of activity! They say that New York City is the city that never sleeps - and they are right!! The City has this special kind of noise... kind of like a whooshing. But it's not irrititating. It's actually kind of soothing. What is irritating is the constant squeak of breaks that are overused (cabs are EVERYWHERE but they're difficult to catch) and horns honking.

New York was a magical experience though. The lights, the buildings, the history, the food... everything. I loved it! And I'd gladly go back in a heartbeat. No, really. A heartbeat.

I didn't bring any workout clothes, even though I knew there was a gym at the hotel we stayed at. I know, I'm a bad girl. But I knew that we were going to be walking everywhere anyway (we probably walked between 12 & 15 miles in the 4 days we were there) and I wouldn't have a lot of time to do much exercising even if I had brought clothes. Seriously, we packed a TON of stuff into the few days we were there. I'll blog about it all on my MamaKitty blog... probably next week. I haven't decided yet.

I felt myself getting sick the last day we were there, which sucked because I hate being sick, but at the same time, I'm glad it was at the end of the vacation. Being sick on vacation sucks even harder than being sick any other time. So I'm currently dreaming of hopping on the elliptical after I get off work, but it's not in the cards right now unless I want to die from coughing myself into a heart attack.

I put a few pictures up on my Photobucket and am posting them here. I mostly stuck to pictures that had something to do with Twitloss (namely: food I ate while I was there and drinks that we had the first night we arrived), but I snuck some pictures of the City because it's so beautiful. I wish I would've taken more, but I was so caught up in experiencing the trip that I forgot to document a lot of it. :(

So, how do you keep up with your diet/exercise when you're on vacation?

Just Eat It...

Week 2 of the miracle pill is going well. I am simply less hungry. It is the most amazing feeling to not be constantly hungry. I mean I am no starving child with a bloated belly but I never realized the constant gnawing hunger I lived with until-- I didn't. I mean apparently it I was living my life like I was in the Eat It video with Weird Al...come on you remember it! No? Okay Let me refresh your memory!

Now that I have planted that vile ear worm for today, let me please remind you all...stop the junk food talk on Twitter! ROFL! I can't take it. I mean it. I am looking at you Robin with your S@#$T%^&S talk. Anyway. Maybe the food focus has shifted because I have been obsessing about my writing stuff the last couple of weeks? True I have been...my pointer finger is a little tired from clicking refresh so much! (Click here for more details.)

Exercise-wise things are going well, I am working out about 3 days a week and walking at work 3-4 days in addition to that. So I am hoping to be looking as svelte as possible by my trip to Vegas...next week. Yeah I know. I have high expectations. How about you? Any good short term goals your shooting for?

Milestones

Even though I haven't had a lot of time to hit the gym recently, I've still been pretty good about the way that I eat. Now that I'm working, I'm up and moving around a lot more and have a lot less time to be bored and think that I'm hungry when I'm really not.

I hopped on the scale the other day and was dismayed to realize that I'd only dropped 2 pounds. But hey - it's 2 pounds. And it's not sitting on my ass anymore. So, I'll take it!

If you don't follow me on Twitter, you probably haven't heard that I'm going to New York next weekend with PK. Yup, we're headed to The Big Apple! I've never been, so I'm really super excited. I'm hoping to stick to my diet, but with all the places we're heading, I'm pretty sure that diet is headed right out the airplane window. Anyway, I decided that I needed to go shopping for some new jeans because the only pair I have that fit me a) have a broken zipper and b) slide off my ass towards the end of the day. So, I headed to Hell-Mart to get a new pair of jeans. Joy.

The thing is: when I got into the dressing room, I found that the size 16s I'd pulled off the rack didn't fit me. They were too big! So, I went back and got a size 14. And OMFG ladies, they fit!!

I haven't been a size 14 in five years.

I want to call Jose and tell him that even though I haven't had the time to hit the gym lately (and I miss him dearly), I'm still losing weight.

I visited the school's gym today just to see what they have available. The weight room is kind of pathetic, but they have a ton of elliptical machines so next week, I'll be hitting the gym after work. I'd go before work, but they double as classrooms, and unless you're taking a PhysEd class (which I can't take - the VA won't pay for it, since I went to boot camp), the rooms aren't open until 2:30. That's ok though. I get off work at 3:00 on Tuesdays & Thursdays, and I can move my schedule around so that I get an extra hour off another day in the week.

I want to take this milestone and run with it. I want to keep hitting more and more until I hit my goal.

What milestones have you hit recently?

Topamax Week 1 - My Body, it is a Changing!

A while back I blogged about hitting the doctor for some weight loss help (among other issues - no not the mental ones, just gotta live with the fact I'm crazy) and he suggested a pill to help prevent migraines and help with weight loss. Well, last week in the madness of my life I got on the scale Monday morning. Now note here and now. I AM NOT putting this on my weight tracker. I refuse. I weighed in at 205. Did you hear me people? Two-Hundred-and-five-freaking-pounds!

Enough is enough. Look I know I cheat here and there, but I exercise and I drink diet shakes instead of eating food. For crying out loud I should at least be able to maintain the 195 I was at. Deep breaths. In. Out. So, I called the doctor. He called in my prescription and I started my pills Wednesday night. I read through all the lovely side effects...but I focused on the important two (besides migraine prevention). 1) Loss of appetite - that's right if I don't feel hungry I shouldn't eat, right? RIGHT?! 2) Loss of taste for some foods...please god let that be all things that have fat in them! ROFL! Okay I know it won't work that way, but maybe if I stopped craving sugar as much it would be easier, ya know?

Well, Tuesday was one week on the pills and I have to say I am not as hungry as usual. I wake up and my first thought is not, "What's for breakfast?". That in and of itself is a small miracle. I am happy to say that overall it seems to be working. Even to the point that I skipped cake that was in the kitchen at work today. Don't get me wrong, by the third trip in there it was taking will power, but it was so much easier to find because I didn't crave it like I crave oxygen. :D

And where does this all lead to? I am happy to say that I believe that with a combination of a few weeks of hard work in the exercise department paired with the Topamax I managed a 6lb drop this week! Woot! Woot! Now, I do not expect that to be a regular occurrence, but I would like to see a steady drop, especially since I am headed to Las Vegas in a couple of weeks. Wanna look my best for my vacation!

So, How are you all doing? Any successes you wanna share? Small or large? We celebrate just the same here at Twitloss!

jiggy me this

First, let me just say I am SO sorry. No, not for missing last week. I'm sorry for this video. I didn't want to post it. I didn't. No, really, I didn't. I don't even LIKE this song. No, I don't. Stop it. I DON'T! But.....it was in my head. And it's so catchy. And, before I knew it, I was embedding it right here. Sigh.



So. Damn. Catchy. Will Smith, you're the devil! The DEVIL I SAY! But....maybe if I put this on my MP3 player I'll run faster trying to get away from it.....

Anyway, it appears I am back on the wagon for real this time. Back to the gym AND back to recording calories. Hooray! My legs are protesting the return to treadmill inclines. Tough shit.

Now if I could just back away from the cheesecake and key lime pie.....although, I have to tell you all that I have broken (at least temporarily) my cupcake addiction! And, I'm working on the fast food addiction. Yes, I've been cooking a lot more things at home but....fast food is so fast! Obviously, there are still areas that need some work.

Happy Tuesday!

on a serious note...

I'd prepared myself to write a light-hearted and funny post today about losing weight and being healthy. But I went to the hospital to see a friend last night, and even though he's doing well, I find myself neither light-hearted nor funny. I don't want to bring anyone down, but this isn't a laughing matter.

My friend, who I'll call Smith (because he's a locksmith), was diagnosed with lymphoma about 2 months ago. The lymph nodes in his neck are so swollen that they're now pressing on his vocal cords. He has lung cancer, and it has metastasized to his brain -- which is why he was in the hospital - he had surgery on September 1st to remove the large tumor. He has several small tumors that could not be removed by surgery, and will have to be blasted with radiation, because the chemotherapy they're going to treat his lung cancer with won't work on his brain.

Why am I posting about this today? Because it's a health issue, and a large part of Twitloss is about maintaining a healthy lifestyle.

Smith has smoked for 20 years. His was about a 2 pack a day habit, which is a lot. But I've seen people who have smoked far less than that develop lung cancer. My maternal grandmother, maternal grandfather, paternal grandmother, and (maternal) great-aunt have all succumbed to lung cancer in the last 20 years. They were all smokers.

This is quickly turning into a "Don't smoke!" post, but it's so much more than that... I want you to be healthy and live a long & happy life. Living healthy doesn't have to be painful. Yeah, when you first start exercising you get those aches and pains, but when you get to exercising every day you feel great! Eating healthy doesn't have to taste nasty. There are millions of healthy recipes floating out there on the internet that taste fantastic (believe me - I use them all the time).

If you don't want to live healthy for yourself, why not live healthy for those around you? Your kids, your spouse, your parents, your family, your friends.... there are a lot of people out there who want you around for a while.

This is me Bailing...

Okay, nothing to say today because I am buried under EDJ stuff. :( I have however worked out two days this week. :D Yay me!

The weekend was awesome, but I did not eat well. I did have rabbit for the first time. It was good...but I couldn't eat a lot of it. Have a great week and keep loosing those pounds!

Happy Friday!

Happy Friday everyone! Yaaayyyyy the weekend is finally here! My plans for the weekend include doing laundry, cleaning out the bird cage, making Monkey clean her room (again), and reading. I'd throw in a work out or swimming in there as well, but I'm having a few personal issues at the moment that prevent me from doing much more than walking. In fact, I've spent much of this week medicated (I love Tramadol - it's a life saver) and will probably spend most of the weekend medicated as well.

What are your plans for the weekend?

Also, to distract you from my utter Twitloss fail, I give you cute kittens:

Let's Get Physical!

I have been really good about the exercise! Yay! I have walked and/or worked out almost every day this week. That's right I got physical.

Over the weekend we went camping and well...that was a disaster food wise. I probably ate enough meat to compact my colon into the year 2011. But that's another issue. :D

Sweets are still finding their way into my mouth...not sure how that keeps happening. Yeah, alright I know how it happens. But really, people need to stop bringing that crap to work. So that's really it for now. I am working on getting up every day this week to workout at 5:30am so that the "I'm too busy" excuse won't work. Because honestly I am not doing much at that hour. Just sleeping. Well, I was sleeping...

Remember to smile all the way through your workout! You gotta be there any way, might as well smile. (No? Not buying it? Me either. Someone should tell Billy Blanks.)

-	8/18/2010	8/19/2010	8/20/2010	8/23/2010	8/24/2010	8/25/2010
Exercise Type	Light Walking	Light Walking	Light Walking	Billy Blanks Turbo Charged Fat Burner	Billy Blanks Turbo Charged Fat Burner	Billy Blanks Turbo Charged Fat Burner
Duration	15min	15min	15min	23min	23min	23min