Friday, October 8, 2010

Confessions part 2

After my trip to New York, I expected to have gained a pound or two. I didn't exactly eat as good as I have been, but I thought that I'd balanced it out nicely with all the walking. Seriously, we walked a good 14-15 miles over a span of (basically) 3 days. I was wrong.

I went to the doctor last weekend to get back on Phentermine. And found that I'd gained 10 pounds back.... TEN. I cried on the spot. I knew that I'd gained some back because my jeans weren't fitting as great as they used to, but I kind of figured that it was part of me PMS'ing or water weight or whatever. I figured it'd go away. But it hasn't. My jeans are still tight, and the scale is still showing 203.

I went back to the doctor on Tuesday and sat down with the doctor. He did bloodwork and an EKG to make sure I was able to be on the meds, and they all came out normal. We talked about my diet and exercise. He wants me to cut down the calories I take in from 1650 a day to 1300 a day. He also wants me to either walk or do the elliptical every day. Weight training is ok, but I can't push myself to the point where I'm exhausted and hurting all the time. He mostly wants me to focus on my cardio and the way that I eat... which, honestly, has become a problem again.

I can't help it. I'm addicted to food. I love it. The tastes, the smells, the colors, the textures... I love food. Period. So, while I really enjoy the healthy foods, I really enjoy the fatty, greasy, salty, unhealthy foods.

I started the meds on Wednesday and go back to the doctor in a month. I will be buying the elliptical machine sometime in the next few weeks, but until then I'll be going to the school's gym on Tuesday and Thursday afternoons (when I get off early) to use theirs.

I refuse to gain back the weight that I literally worked off of my ass.


Pamela on October 16, 2010 at 8:29 AM said...

MK, I am a total addict myself. If it's not booze, it's food, if it's not food, it something else. Anyway, I had to cut alcohol out of my life for good, but the thing with food is that you can't just abstain. You HAVE to learn to live with it and develop a healthy lifestyle with it. You can't live without it. Even though some days you just wish you could quit it for good. Usually after having a food hangover from a late night junkfood binge. Anyway, my point to this is, you're doing the right thing. Get back on the clean eating wagon before the 10 turns in to 15 and so on, which it LOVES TO DO. If you think of how far you come, it's just 10 pounds, you can do it. Envision it coming off. Take one day at a time. Good luck, and above all else be kind to yourself. :D


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