Monday, November 21, 2011

Thanksgiving is for eating!

Remember when Adam Sandler was funny?

Greetings, twitloss peeps!  So it's the week for eating.  I'm going to give you some anti-twitloss advice.  EAT THANKGSGIVING DINNER.  No, really.  Look, I get it that we're all trying to be healthier.  #twitloss is about losing weight, sure, but not just about losing weight.  It's about being healthier for ourselves, our families, all of that feel good stuff we love to embrace, especially around holiday time.  Right?

So, I've seen more "swap this for that" and "how to eat without really eating"
 articles than I care to and the holiday season is just starting.  But, if you're spending all of your time worrying about what NOT to eat, and how not to eat it, how much are you enjoying the holiday?  How much are you enjoying the company around you if you're so worried about the calories in two spoonfuls of mashed potatoes vs. two spoonfuls of green bean casserole?  And, the reality is, Thanksgiving is ONE DAY.  (okay, with leftovers it can be two or three days...although if you're shopping appropriately, you're going to burn a lot of Black Friday!)  You're not going to wreck your lifestyle indulging on one day.  You're just not.  This is, of course, provided you're doing what you're supposed to be doing all the other days.  That's the real key, isn't it, though?  What are you doing every other day?

Regardless of that, don't let anxiety ruin your holiday.  If you haven't been as good and/or diligent as you fell you should have been, re-commit the day after Thanksgiving.  And, definitely, re-make some of those holiday favorites so that they are healthier if it makes you feel better.  Sometimes, the changes don't taste any different but can make a real difference in the amount of calories consumed.  I'm all for that. But getting down on yourself because you want to enjoy a holiday meal with family and friends?  That isn't going to make you any skinnier or healthier. If anything, it'll make you eat MORE because you'll feel bad about everything. Cut back on calories throughout the week, work out more after the holiday, there are lots of ways to counteract a big meal on the big day.  Just.....take some time off from #twitloss to ENJOY the holiday.  It only comes around once a year. 

Take a walk does more than sooth a guilty conscience. Look:

Sure, I want to look like this 
(in a lovely shade of brown, please, and without seeing my ribs!) 

but it isn't going to happen overnight.  And it isn't going to NOT happen because of Thanksgiving.  It's the work I do all the OTHER days of the year (and genetics) that will determine the outcome. So, have a guilt free Thanksgiving, and burn a ton of calories shopping (or avoiding shopping) over the weekend.  

Happy Thanksgiving! 

Friday, November 18, 2011

Life is Hard....Food is Easy

You may or may not know that I have been dealing with a lot lately. For those of you who do not, here it is. On 10/31/11 My baby brother (he was 30) was killed in a car accident. We all have been getting through this the best we can, but for me it was a little harder. I wrote on my personal blog about it a couple of days ago. Since this is what I am dealing with right now, I am just going to put the same post here.

Emotional eating is something that a lot of people on a weight loss journey go through. Whether you are dealing with a loss of a loved one, stress at home or on the job, there is always a choice on how you deal with it. No matter how long you have been in an emotional eating cycle, you can always pull yourself out.

As hard as a weight loss journey is, sometimes you don't prepare yourself for the harder things. For me I expected things to get in the way, to have bumps along the road, to go off course from time to time. What I didn't expect is how I would handle something big, something that I didn't have control over. My brother's sudden death knocked me out, put me flat on my face, and into a almost 3 week secret eating binge.

Life is hard. Sometimes it's so full of B.S. , I can hardly think, let alone stop the things that I do to myself. And let me tell you, me & my family losing my brother is over the top B.S. ! This is where food is easy.

I call it grief eating.

In order to deal with this horrible pain, I've been eating it away. Shoving it so far down inside with all kinds of unhealthy things; I really haven't had time to feel.

When people ask me how I am doing. I say, I'm ok. You see, I can't really "break" down. Well that's not true, I did have one, the day I got the call (thank you Shannan for being there). Since then, there have been none. I have always felt that since I am the oldest, I am the one who has to be strong for everyone else. There has to be at least one person who has it all together and be on their toes for what ever some one may need. Again this is an example of how food is easy. Eating gives you comfort. It never fails, it's there anytime I need it. I don't need anyone to be there for me, I have food.

On Sunday, I recognized what I was doing. I was just sitting on my bed, thinking about my brother, and I had 4 cookies in my hand. Cookies that I had baked, "for the kids". Then I began to feel ill, because I remembered the night before I ate an entire large cheese steak and order of fries.

At that moment, I knew I had to make a choice. I knew I had to reach out to someone. Someone who could relate, another weight loss journey friend. Hoping that they would have some advice on how to get back to where I needed to be.

Tara & Meegan, where right there with a response in a couple of minutes. What they had to say gave me hope and some peace. I was given permission (not that I need it, but I did) to grieve without food. I need to go back to the basics. Start from the beginning. Start logging my food, so I would conscientiously have to decide what to eat. And more importantly, permission to be kind to myself and to my heart.

I have to cope with my feelings and not eat them.

I am mad, and so profoundly sad that I will have to go through the rest of my life with out seeing this beautiful smile in person.

Yesterday, was a new day.
I let myself feel.
I didn't eat excessively.
I logged my food.
I cried a lot.
Today I stepped on the scale.

Life goes on, whether we are actively participating in it or not.
I choose to participate.

"We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey." ~Kenji Miyazawa

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Back in the Mix

Greetings, Kittens!

I'm on the mend and almost normal again. It was nowhere near as quick as I'd hoped two weeks ago. There are still twinges in my lower back, but I've walked unassisted for the last ten days. There have been knee issues, but I can also twist and turn as necessary. I'm calling it full movement restored and going for a short hooping sesssion this evening. 

I still don't know what caused it, but for the next couple months, I'm going to lay off of the strength training and mat pilates. I'll use my hoops to tone, and some basic yoga poses to stretch, but I won't do anything that causes stress on my back.

Even for cardio, I think I might stick with the hoops for at least a week and then jump back into riding the bike. I'm wary, but I'm eager, so here's to getting back in the saddle!

100 miles and counting!


Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Procrastination - I haz it!

Hello Girls! I have absolutely no progress to post today. Sadly I can't seem to get myself back on track. Seems life just keeps getting in the way. Such is life for a single mom with three active kids I guess.

I have a question for you. What helps you stay focused? I started off this year really strong. I went to the gym 5 days a week and worked out with a trainer 2 to 3 of those days. Since then I quit going to the gym because it was to hard trying to juggle everything. 

Anyway this time next month I hope to post good  news. I just gotta crawl my way back on track and stay focused. Have a great rest of the week. Talk to you next month!

Monday, November 7, 2011

I am writing this the night before heading to Vegas. You will be reading it the day after I get back. All bets are off...or on as the case may be. :D But the diet is off and the eating is on! Later this week I go see the doctor and find out how much longer I will be wearing the "Boot of All Evil" (a.k.a. an AirCast).

I imagine next month will be full of stories about how I drunkenly scootered my way around Vegas, but for now I will suffice to catch you all up on my progress. *cough* Okay, so I attempted to do crunches, leg lifts, and push-ups. Then life and schedule intervened and it all fell by the way side. :P When I get back from Vegas I will try to get on the ball and get up in the mornings to take care of business and get my health back on track. Anyway, I still have not gotten on a scale since I can't bear weight on the foot, but my clothes seem to fit. Heh. Okay, I'll stop here so as not to depress everyone, or myself. Talk to you all later!

Friday, November 4, 2011

Halloween... Ha. I Laugh at Your Candy Deliciousness

Every year the candy comes out earlier and earlier. And every year I buy candy, eat it before Halloween, and have to buy more, but not this year. I didn't buy any candy until Friday. I worked Saturday and Sunday nights, so I was either away from the house or sleeping all weekend. Monday evening I ripped open those bags, selected one fun sized piece for myself, and happily gave it most of it away. I sent my husband and our three kiddos out Trick or Treating. They were back about an hour later. By then, we were starting to run low on candy. It is our first Halloween in a new neighborhood, and I had no idea how many kids we were going to get. Well, I underestimated, way under estimated. There was a mad scramble looking for more candy. We ended up "recycling" 75% of the candy our kids had brought home. I know, I know, I'm a mean Mommy. I was going to take most of it to the dentist's office Tuesday, anyway. This saved me a trip downtown. Most of the candy left, thank God, are things that I don't even like, so temptation avoided.

That leads us on to the next series of temptations...Thanksgiving and Christmas. Thanksgiving is covered. We are eating at my Mom's, and I'm NOT taking home any leftovers. We don't have the logistics of Christmas worked out yet.

Food is such a big part of our holiday traditions. Baking sugar cookies using some cookie cutters that are 75 years old. Recipes written on the same cards for 50 years. I love the traditions, but the memories are what I want us to have, not the calories.

On to the good stuff. I made myself get on the scales this week. Down 10 pounds from last month. Yes. I'm happy with this. For me this isn't about a crash diet, dropping 10% in a month. It is a lifelong journey that I'm undertaking.

So, what about you all? Did you survive the Halloween Candy Trap? Do you have plans to avoid the Turkey Coma on Thanksgiving?


Thursday, November 3, 2011

And I'm back, from outerspace...

Wow, it's been a while since I've blogged here. I can only blame my insane school schedule (15 hours this semester!) and the fact that I'm... well, absent-minded. And a little lazy. Sorry, like George Washington, I cannot tell a lie.

(History geek moment - that was actually never said by Washington. It's credited to Parson Weems in a biography of Washington, which has long been considered a complete fabrication).

Excuse my nerdness.

Anyway. It's been a while. I've been crazy busy with school. I wish I could say that I've been really good about working out, but since I've been so busy with going to class and spending a zillion hours in clinicals and at lab, I've lad less than no time to work out. Which is a good thing, because it means I haven't had any time to shovel food into my mouth, either.

So, the good news is that I haven't gained any weight. The bad news is I haven't really lost any either. I'm holding steady at 183. And I hate it! I hurt my shoulder, my knees and ankle are killing me, so even if I did have time to exercise, I can't. And to top it off, the allergens are wayyyyy up, so I'm coughing up both of my lungs and I sound like James Earl Jones.

Sorry I'm so whiny. I just don't feel well right now and I'm pissed that I can't do anything to shed this weight. I saw an orthopedic doctor yesterday who's going to send me to physical therapy. It's only going to be for my shoulder, initially, but I'm going to force them to help me with my knees and ankle as well. I can be very persuasive when I want to be. :) And I refuse to continue living like this.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Um, Ow!

Greetings, Kittens!

I hope you’re all doing better than you were yesterday, and will be even better tomorrow! After wrenching my back on Friday, (or late Thursday, I honestly don’t remember in the haze), I’ve been primarily immobile until yesterday. Today I’m even more mobile, with the majority of the pain from my sciatica issues, rather than the dagger-in-the-back issue that had me getting around with a walking stick these last five days.

The whole thing completely sucked, but I made 97 of the 100 miles I wanted for October and I know the moment I can ride again, I’ll easily make 100 miles for November. As much as it sucks and as bad as the pain was, I can look at the bright side of the injury and acknowledge how much I missed daily riding while out of commission. I almost tried to ride while at the height of the pain in hopes that the increase in blood flow to the muscles would help. I don’t know if any of you have ever tried to ride a bike with back pain, but those who have know that I was momentarily delirious.

I snapped back to reality and paid attention to my body and rested so that I could heal. I’ve been downing the apples and 100% juices, and wishing I could stand long enough to make smoothies, to nourish my body and help heal. I don’t know where my weight is since I couldn’t stand on the scale, but I’m confident that I should be stable, if not down a bit. Hopefully, I’ll be able to check tomorrow or Thursday.

At my current rate of healing, I’m aiming to ride again on Friday. Of course, that will be determined by whether or not I still need the walking stick to get around on Friday. I’ve made the general rule that if I can’t walk on my own, pedaling isn’t the best bet—unless the walking is a knee issue. In that case, it helps.

Can I just say that I’m over this whole thing? Being sick, having no energy, being injured, I’m just over all of it. It’s old. Whatever cosmic lesson I’m supposed to be learning, the Universe can just send a memo at this point. I’ll read it, I’ll grok it, we can all move on. *Smile*

A Happy Wednesday to all!

97 Miles & Counting,


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