Monday, June 28, 2010
Author: Lynette | Posted at: 6/28/2010 07:05:00 AM | Filed Under: Lynette |
Anyhoo. She was speaking with another customer about Jenny Craig and the meal plants, etc. Since I had just gotten out from under the hair dryer I had missed part of their discussion and I asked her how much on average did she spend on the food?
SHE REFUSED TO GIVE ME THE ANSWER. Basically she and the other women told me that I was skinny and they spent the rest of the time snarking on me for daring to think that I should lose weight. They told me that it had been years since they'd been able to wear a mini-skirt and a tank top (what I was wearing that day) and how dare I think I needed to lose weight like they did.
Okay, so despite the fact at how snarky I am over the internet and on blogs, I do get my feelings hurt. It implied that I was too skinny to be concerned about losing weight. I felt that I had to justify to them why I was watching what I ate, and attempting to exercise.
Later, I was thinking if that was what was holding me back. Do I even have a right to try and watch what I eat and exercise?
A lot of this is cultural of course. In the black community it's considered good to have hips and a butt and what is considered overweight in the white community isn't necessary considered overweight in the black community. Several years ago, I had a college intern (who was white) who if I may say so and not cause offense, was built like she was black woman. One day she, I, and my other intern (who was black) was sitting in my office talking and she was telling us how she was attracted to white men but it seemed like so many of the men who approached and hit on her were black men. She had never really been around black people until she entered college and she couldn't understand why she was getting all this attention from black men. Of course me and the black girl shared a look like, we knew exactly why before we turned and schooled her on the various cultural aspects of black men and sex.
I also think back to when I was eighteen and had first joined the Army. I was 106 pounds (yes I remember exactly what I weighed) when I went into basic training. I always remember being insecure because I thought I was too skinny and not pretty (if I had my eighteen year old self, I would totally smack the crap out of her). I remember being over the moon when I finished with all my training and reported to my first duty station that I had put on twenty pounds. And I must admit, I was sexy as heck and muscled but still insecure (once again, if I could go back and slap myself into sense, I would totally do so). It was a big adjustment from me from growing up in the projects and burying myself in my books and all of a sudden living in the real world. LOL
When I gain weight, it's all in my stomach, my hips, and my a--. Since we started twitloss, I've went down from a size ten to a size eight and I no longer look like I just delivered the Chunkmaster (my son). However, because of my hips and my a— a size ten is more comfortable despite being looser at the waist because of my hips and my a--. Unless I'm wearing a skirt or something. Today I'm wearing size 10 pants and though it's loose around the waist, it's tight around my hips and thighs.
Is it wrong for me at my age to wish that I was wearing a size six? I think a part of me thinks that it is and that's why I'm lapsing on the exercise department.
BTW. Here's a picture the hubster took this weekend of me and Queen. I'm wearing a miniskirt.