Monday, June 28, 2010

Size: Is it All Relative?

I went to my hairdresser on Friday. Of course, there were several of us there. My hairdresser was telling us this story about how she was discriminated against at a Jenny Craig branch. Basically, she and her daughter were there before the branch opened. When the worker came to unlock the store they got out of their vehicle to approach the branch. The worker wouldn't open the store with them standing there. After awhile, they (my hairdresser and her daughter) turned and went back to their SUV. As soon as they got back in the vehicle the worker reached for the key and unlocked the door and she and a white customer entered the store. The way she told the story she has us raging and laughing at the absurdity of the blatant racism she and her daughter suffered.

Anyhoo. She was speaking with another customer about Jenny Craig and the meal plants, etc. Since I had just gotten out from under the hair dryer I had missed part of their discussion and I asked her how much on average did she spend on the food?

SHE REFUSED TO GIVE ME THE ANSWER. Basically she and the other women told me that I was skinny and they spent the rest of the time snarking on me for daring to think that I should lose weight. They told me that it had been years since they'd been able to wear a mini-skirt and a tank top (what I was wearing that day) and how dare I think I needed to lose weight like they did.

Okay, so despite the fact at how snarky I am over the internet and on blogs, I do get my feelings hurt. It implied that I was too skinny to be concerned about losing weight. I felt that I had to justify to them why I was watching what I ate, and attempting to exercise.

Later, I was thinking if that was what was holding me back. Do I even have a right to try and watch what I eat and exercise?

A lot of this is cultural of course. In the black community it's considered good to have hips and a butt and what is considered overweight in the white community isn't necessary considered overweight in the black community. Several years ago, I had a college intern (who was white) who if I may say so and not cause offense, was built like she was black woman. One day she, I, and my other intern (who was black) was sitting in my office talking and she was telling us how she was attracted to white men but it seemed like so many of the men who approached and hit on her were black men. She had never really been around black people until she entered college and she couldn't understand why she was getting all this attention from black men. Of course me and the black girl shared a look like, we knew exactly why before we turned and schooled her on the various cultural aspects of black men and sex.

I also think back to when I was eighteen and had first joined the Army. I was 106 pounds (yes I remember exactly what I weighed) when I went into basic training. I always remember being insecure because I thought I was too skinny and not pretty (if I had my eighteen year old self, I would totally smack the crap out of her). I remember being over the moon when I finished with all my training and reported to my first duty station that I had put on twenty pounds. And I must admit, I was sexy as heck and muscled but still insecure (once again, if I could go back and slap myself into sense, I would totally do so). It was a big adjustment from me from growing up in the projects and burying myself in my books and all of a sudden living in the real world. LOL

When I gain weight, it's all in my stomach, my hips, and my a--. Since we started twitloss, I've went down from a size ten to a size eight and I no longer look like I just delivered the Chunkmaster (my son). However, because of my hips and my a— a size ten is more comfortable despite being looser at the waist because of my hips and my a--. Unless I'm wearing a skirt or something. Today I'm wearing size 10 pants and though it's loose around the waist, it's tight around my hips and thighs.

Is it wrong for me at my age to wish that I was wearing a size six? I think a part of me thinks that it is and that's why I'm lapsing on the exercise department.

BTW. Here's a picture the hubster took this weekend of me and Queen. I'm wearing a miniskirt.


Reena Jacobs on June 28, 2010 at 11:26 AM said...

I don't think size matters so much. I think the health and look is more important. I totally get the military thing. I went in at 113 lbs. Two months of basic put me at 132 lbs. I went from a size 0 to a size 9. Did I care I wore a size 9? Uhm no. Why? Cause I was at my fittest and looked my best.

On the other hand, if you're goal is a particular size, go for it. Just make sure you keep healthy while doing it.

dyockman on June 28, 2010 at 12:48 PM said...

Oh Lynette! I have so many things I want to say! First off...size is relative. If you are a ten and you feel better, healthier as an eight then you need to address that. If you are a ten and happy as a ten then rejoice! Enjoy!

Now, size is size that is. There is no industry standard for clothing sizes. Each designer sets their own sizing standards. (At least that's how it was when I worked in retail and I am assuming that has not changed in the last 10yrs.) So, just because the label says it's size 10 doesn't make it a 10. Oh, and let's face it being a white woman built like a sister, pants are not cut to fit me. To get the best fit women with curves should most likely be buying larger sizes and having their pant's tailored to fit their bodies...but who's got time for that!? So I buy to accommodate my hips and backside, and live with a big waist. :D

So stick to your plan if you will feel healthier at a different size, just be sure you do it in a healthy way and for the right reasons. :) ::Hugs::

Lynette on June 29, 2010 at 7:48 AM said...

Thanks for the support guys. I know I can be heathier and work out! But I was feeling depressed after that conversation!

Twimom227 on June 29, 2010 at 6:25 PM said...

You look HOT! BUT I hear you... I am not a FAT or LARGE person, but I still struggle with my weight. I go to WW (as often as I can), and I still struggle with my weight. Just because I struggle with 20 lbs and not 40 or 60 or more, does not mean that I don't struggle.

And it's all about how you hold your weight. I'm an apple. I am SO jealous of women (who may weight more than me) that have curves. I have no hips, no waist and a big belly. I always feel fat. It's all relative. SO the bottom line is that it doesn't matter what you look like to others, it's what you look like to yourself. If someone says to you that you are too small to lose weight (I get this, too), just say thanks and walk away. People that really understand weight struggle will want to help you no matter if you have to lose 10 pounds or 100 pounds. Just stick to with it. we are here for you!


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