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Wednesday, January 2, 2013

New day. New year.

I just read Una's post on Twimom227.com and was inspired. Her story felt a lot like my story. She's always been chunky, I've always been chunky. She gained a lot of weight while she was pregnant, so did I.

But, while I did manage to lose 65 pounds two years ago, I didn't keep it off. I haven't changed my lifestyle as much as I need to. I gained 20 pounds back and am sitting at 200 pounds. I'm stuck in a cycle of depression, I don't exercise as much as I should, and I hate it.

I recently made the decision to get back on the exercise wagon. I'm still committed to that. I get up and move more often than I did before and it is helping. I've lost 4 pounds, and would like to keep losing.  I've always said that I won't set a goal weight because I don't want to aspire to something and possibly fail at it, which would only send me spiraling out of control again. I want to be healthy. 

According to my height/weight chart, I should be somewhere between 120 and 150. I have never been 120 in my life. In high school, I was 150 and happy. In the Navy, just before I got pregnant with Monkey, I was 143 and I looked sick. It's a fine line.

At some point, I'll be happy with my body again. I just need to stay on track.

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